6 Really, Really Bad Ways to Respond to Problems

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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Naturally, there are things you love about the ministry or organization you lead. Probably lots of them.

But chances are there are also a few things you don’t love. Maybe even a few things you see that bother you deeply. Being discontent with things comes with the territory for most leaders. In fact, an ability to spot problems is in part what makes a leader a leader.

After all, it’s often a deep discontent that drives us to want to make things better and makes us leaders in the first place.

But that discontent can also hurt us and hurt others if we mishandle it.

In fact, most leaders fall into a variety of traps when trying to figure out how to respond when they see something they don’t like. When you respond inappropriately to something you don’t like, you can end up:

• Hampering your ministry or organization
• Hurting good people
• Stunting your own growth and development

Here are 6 terrible (but common) ways to respond when something upsets you as a leader.

1.  Failing to take responsibility

It’s just so easy to blame other people or other factors when you see something you don’t like.

While laying the blame on external factors is a problem (I wrote about that here), sometimes we blame others inside our organization for the problem. Great leaders never do that.

If you’re the senior leader in your organization, everything you don’t like about it is your responsibility.

Great leaders never blame. They take responsibility instead.

Sure, it’s not your responsibility to handle all the problems personally. But it is your responsibility to ensure your culture stays healthy, people remain on mission and that the problems you’re facing get solved well and in a timely manner by the right people.

For years I’ve had to remind myself: I’m the leader. I’m responsible. It’s no one else’s fault but mine.

2. Not taking action 

The fact that something bothers you is natural.

But too many leaders let the problem linger. They walk in and allow themselves to be bothered by it day after day after day.

Don’t do that. Deal with it, or else decide it’s actually not a problem (sometimes you just need an attitude adjustment).

And if it actually is a problem, DO something about it!

Getting upset over the same issue again and again and not doing anything about is futility and a failure in leadership.

Change the situation. Work on a solution. Or be quiet about it.

3. Failing to get a proper diagnosis

Just because you see the problem doesn’t mean you understand the problem.

I’ve caught myself on this more than a few times.

Sometimes all that’s missing between your observation and the right diagnosis is more information.

4. Bypassing proper channels

The bigger your organization, the more of a temptation this becomes for leaders.

Because leaders are often doers and fixers, our temptation is to by-pass several layers and just fix something. In other words, the people who created the problem are three or four ‘layers’ removed from the situation and you just decided to bypass all their managers and deal with it yourself.

When you do that, you undermine the leadership of everyone who stood between you and the problem. Not to mention the fact that you have likely just traumatized the person you just dealt with (see point 5).

5. Saying too much to the wrong person

Your words weigh a lot as a leader. When you walk into an environment and point out five things that are wrong with it, the people who worked hard to put it together can easily become devastated.

As we’ve grown, I’ve learned to keep a few people around me who I can say anything to. They act as a sounding board and often tell me I’m wrong, or I don’t have the right information, or explain to me why something is the way it is.

Once I have all the information, I often change my mind.

But sometimes, if I’m right, we’ll get someone else to take action because they’ll either say it better than I will or will be the person who has to fix the problem anyway.

The larger your organization, the more important it is that you say mostly positive things to the people who work with you and keep your criticism for your very tight inner circle.

Because I started the church and teach most weekends my words weigh a lot. I need to remember that.

6. Not articulating a clear alternative

It’s one thing to spot a problem. It’s quite another to create a solution.

If something is bothering you, that’s understandable.

But real leadership happens when you can work with your team to create an alternative. That’s far more work, but it’s so important.

Simply telling people what’s wrong is of very limited value. Helping them work toward what’s right – a preferred future – is far better.

As a leader, your highest value comes when you help your team find constructive alternatives.

What Do You See?

Those are 6 traps I see leaders fall into when they find something they don’t like in their organization.

Which ones snag you? What are other traps you’ve discovered?

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, leadership problems, problems

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Leaders Taking These Actions Drive Their Team Nuts

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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If you lead, you are more than aware of the incredible responsibility you have toward others. Leadership, by definition, is not a solo sport. You’re leading others, and how you do it ultimately determines how effective you are as a leader.

It also means you need to become exceptionally self-aware of your weaknesses.

If you think about it, the leaders you’ve probably liked the least have been the least self-aware. In my view, self-awareness is a leader’s best friend. (Here are 4 things self-aware leaders know that others don’t.)

As a short cut, here are 7 common things leaders do that drive their team nuts. I know this because I have driven my share of team members nuts over my years in leadership.

1. Underestimating how much work it takes

You’re in an incredible position of trust as a leader. When you say things, your team does its best to make them happen.

But some leaders are notorious for underestimating how much time a task will take.

Sometimes leaders fall into the trap of thinking they can be like God and simply speak things into being: And the leader said “Let there be a fourth weekend service” and it was so. Of course, the leader hasn’t properly estimated the impact this is going to have on the parking team, the guest services team, the kids ministry team, the student ministry team, the production team or the music team.

Underestimating how much work something takes can seem like an initial advantage because it makes seemingly impossible things happen. But it can also be incredibly demotivating to your team when you significantly underestimate how much work something will take. Often leaders are afraid to ask how much work something will take because they fear leaders will say no. If you have a good team, that’s almost never the case.

They just want to know that you know and appreciate the effort and will allocate the budget and the staffing the proposal needs. And if you don’t have enough budget or staffing, often your team will say yes anyway and make it happen. They just need your encouragement and understanding of what it will cost them.

If this describes you, next time take the time to sit down with your team and think through how much work it will take to get you there. Then plan for it.

The fix can be that simple.

2. Impulsive, emotion-based decision making

I asked my amazing assistant what I do that drives her the most crazy. This was her pick.

Yep, leaders are passionate. Even impulsive.

They are used to creating something out of nothing. Sometimes that’s good, as in Hey, why don’t we launch two campuses at once? Or hey, why don’t we start a podcast and see if anything happens?

Often, the impulsiveness and emotion are driven from a place of discontent with the status quo. That is, after all, the impetus to change.

I may be bothered by something I think needs fixing immediately. I may be discontent about a situation I think the entire team needs to address immediately. But, to paraphrase Bill Hybels, not all discontent is holy. Sometimes my discontent comes from having a bad day, or being moody, or just deciding something on the spur of the moment.

And then I almost always reverse the decision the next day or the next week. Or bump what was priority #1 down to priority #32 because it just isn’t as important any more.

That’s frustrating for people.

I’ve gotten better at this, but when my assistant senses it’s happening, she’s become great at asking “So are you serious about this or is this just how you feel in the moment?” Often that shakes me out of the moment and I’ll say “Right…I’m probably just upset about something. Let me sleep on it.”  Or I’ll ask her what she thinks (or check with some other leaders) and they’ll tell me I’m just worked up about something and I need to relax.

Just because you’re upset about something as a leader doesn’t mean it should become the top priority of the organization.

3. Being indecisive

I’ve seen indecisive leadership sink more than a few ships.

Your job as a leader is to make decisions that make things happen. That doesn’t mean you make decisions all by yourself. The best leaders always involve a team in their decision making. But you still need to make a decision.

What makes decision making hard at a senior leadership level is that it’s only the toughest decisions that make it to you. All the easy decisions already got made long before they reached your desk.

And that can lead to delay. Delay leads to paralysis. And paralysis leads to stagnation and decline.

Delayed decision-making demotivates your team.

So make a decision, and create a process for making sure decisions get made regularly and quickly. Sure, every once in a while you need to take a long time to make a decision. But far too many leaders use that as an excuse.

Decide.

4. Being too decisive and not valuing input

Every problem has a flip side, and the flip side of being indecisive is being too decisive.

Some leaders make instant decisions without any input from anyone else, and that is also frustrating to their teams. I think it’s a good practice for every senior leader to be a part of something they don’t lead. I work with a couple of organizations on the side where I’m not the senior leader or where I sit on the board. It helps me realize what it feels like to not be the senior leader.

So I know that I really appreciate it when CEOs ask for my opinion, when they value my input, when they seek my counsel. Even if I disagree with their decision, I know they consulted others, and that gives me confidence in their decision.

As Andy Stanley has so aptly said, leaders who refuse to listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing significant to say.

5. Creating an unsustainable pace

You can be tempted to burn the midnight oil as a leader. Most great leaders do at one time or another.

But leaders can also create unsustainable pace for their team.

Your team feels guilty about going home long before you do. And when you’re pounding out emails at 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. 7 days a week, it makes your team feel lazy. It also makes you look incredibly unhealthy.

I have a very strong appetite for work, but I’ve let my team know what my expectation for them is.  Just because I work long hours (on a variety of things) doesn’t mean everyone has to.

One of a leader’s chief responsibilities is to create a sustainable pace for their entire team.

6. Working too few hours

Sometimes leaders end up working too few hours.

That’s perhaps even more demotivating that working too many hours. Always work as hard as you expect your team to work. Even harder (but see above).

Leaders who phone it in have no place in real leadership.

7. Expecting others to put in more than you’re willing to put in

Leadership requires your all.

If your organization requires donations, contribute—sacrificially.

If your organization requires volunteers—volunteer for something, even though you get paid for your staff role.

Never expect more from your team than you’re willing to personally put in. That doesn’t mean you should always be first in and last to leave. You have to focus on roles in which you can contribute most. But it does mean you should be willing to go the extra mile.

When a leader is working less passionately fewer hours than their team, the team loses both passion for the mission and respect for the leader.

What Do You See?

These are 7 ways I think leaders can drive their teams nuts.

What would you add to this list?

> Read more from Carey.

 Would you like to know more about developing as a leader in ways that doesn’t drive your team nuts? Connect with an Auxano Navigator and start a conversation with our team.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Driving Your Team Nuts, Leadership

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5 Guidelines to Help You Lead When You Find Yourself In Over Your Head

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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Here’s a leadership secret.

Almost anyone who has ever led anything significant has felt like they’re in over their head at one point or another.

You might be there right now.

I hear from young leaders all the time or leaders who have moved into new roles who tell me they’re overwhelmed by the responsibility of leadership. One young leader put it this way:

I’m basically…new to all of this and feeling completely over my head. Knowing I am called to be here and not knowing how any of this is going to work, [the] leadership issue for me is feeling so very very insecure on so many levels.

I get that. I’ve felt like I’ve been in over my head many times.

• From my teens right through my thirties, I was often the youngest leader around a lot of leadership tables and had to learn how to lead with people much older and often much wiser than me.
• I was in law before ministry. First year law school was overwhelming for a liberal arts major, but I found a way through.
• I really never saw myself as a pastor, and had to figure out how to lead a church in real time when I got called into ministry.
• I really had no idea how to write a book. I’ve now been able to publish three, including my latest, Lasting Impact: 7 Powerful Conversation That Will Help Your Church Grow.
• I had no idea how to launch a book (apparently books don’t launch themselves), but learned on the fly and saw my latest book become a #1 Amazon best-seller in multiple categories.

Whether you’re trying to launch something new, moving into a new and overwhelming role, or just being the young leader around a seasoned table, everyone gets overwhelmed.

So…how do you lead when you’re in over your head?

What follows are 5 guidelines that have helped me.

1. Stay humble

Humility is a leader’s best friend.

It’s one thing to be in over your head but pretend you’ve got it all figured out. Your insecurity will drive you to pretend you know something. Don’t. It’s such a bad strategy; the quickest way to alienate the people around you is to pretend you know what you’re doing when you don’t. People will lose confidence in you quickly and begin to dismiss you as arrogant.

On the other hand, don’t repeatedly throw yourself under the bus either saying things like “I’m no good at this” or “I have no idea what I’m doing.” That’s not true humility. That’s a lack of confidence.

Instead, just be truthful and express a humble confidence in the long term outcome. Say things like “This is new to me, but I’m sure we can figure this out together.”

Or “The learning curve is steep right now, and I’m grateful for a good team around me. We’ll get this done somehow.”

Sometimes when you’re really shaky, any confidence you’re expressing is in God, not in yourself. I realize that’s good theology in every season, but sometimes the only confidence you will have is in God. That’s more than okay.

2. Get a great team of people around you who are smarter than you 

You really can’t do this alone.

The more alone you are, the more difficult it will be.

So…get some mentors to build into you. If no one’s offering (they rarely do), just ask. Recruit the next and brightest leaders you can find and mobilize them.  Here are 5 tips on how to attract and lead leaders who are better than you.

3. Become an avid learner 

Just because you don’t know something now doesn’t mean you can’t ever know it.

Become an avid learner. Get up early. Read everything you can. Take notes from everyone around you. Live and lead in active learning mode.

You need a steep growth curve in this stage. Make sure you spend time every day learning and growing.

And don’t spend so many hours working in leadership that you can’t work on your leadership.

4. Grow comfortable saying “I don’t know”

Insecurities run deep in most of us. And often our fear is that when people realize how little we know they will reject us.

But when you tell them you don’t know, two things happen. First, they’re glad you realize what they already know—that you don’t know. Second, they probably like you a little bit more because your admission you don’t know makes you more relatable, more human.

Don’t rest at “I don’t know” though. Tell them you’ll find out and report back. But at least admit it. Don’t bluff.

5. Trust God 

Yes, I know this sounds a little cliche. But it’s so true.

Many of us experienced a specific calling into ministry. If so, you need to trust God to get you through it.

In the absence of a clear calling (as I outline here, not everyone receives a ‘call to ministry’ in the transition sense), if you are serving in the area of your gifting and passion, long term things almost always get better. Sometimes you just need to trust the Giver, not the gifts.

The tension in leadership is you will be tempted to trust the gifts more than you trust the Giver. You’ll so badly want the gifts that you don’t have or that are underdeveloped that you’ll grasp at them unwisely. Or when you develop a skill and become great at something, you’ll forget the Giver and place all your confidence in the gift. Both are mistakes.

Great leaders always trust the Giver more than they trust the gifts.

If the gifts you need aren’t developed yet to the point they need to be, just keep working. Be diligent. Don’t give up. Trust that the God who got you into this will get you through it. Naturally, sometimes we’re in over our heads because we’re doing something we’re not gifted for, called to or equipped to handle. That’s a whole different subject.

But most of the time, we just need to persevere a little longer.

What Are You Learning?

What have you learned about leading when you’re in over your head?

> Read more from Carey.

 Are you finding yourself in over your head more and more? Learn how a leadership pipeline process can help keep your head above water. Connect with an Auxano Navigator and start a conversation with our team.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, In over your head, Leadership

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5 Ways to Identify a White-Hot Passion in Leaders

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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If there’s one characteristic I see in successful leaders, it’s passion.

The more church leaders I connect with, the more I see this trend: leaders of growing churches (and growing organizations) have a white hot passion for their mission.

You can hear it in their voice. You can see it in their eyes. It spills out of them.

If you want to see it in action, listen to this message by Perry Noble. His personal passion for the mission of his church oozes out of him as he speaks.

It echoes one of my favourite quotes from John Wesley: Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come for miles to watch you burn.

By contrast, leaders of stuck or declining churches or organizations generally do NOT burn with drive, desire or passion. In fact, I can’t think of a single leader of a growing church who isn’t passionate about their mission.

The problem for most of us is we can’t tell what kind of leader we are. We live in our own skin. It’s hard to get an objective read on our passion level.

I think there are 5 ways you can tell if you’re truly passionate about what you do.

Will your passion level always be white hot? No.

My passion level has gone up and down in seasons, but overall, for me to be effective as a leader, it has to be high. I know that in the seasons in which my passion has been white hot, I’ve led the best.

Here are 5 signs your passion level is white hot.

1. You have a hard time shutting down

Passionate leaders have a hard time shutting down. They are obsessed with the mission. This isn’t workaholism…that’s different.

I’m talking about people who care so much that it becomes part of who they are.

And yes…I realize there’s a ton of potential pitfalls in being obsessed with your work or even having your identity wrapped up in it. But I don’t think Jesus spent most of his days pining for 4:00 so he could go home and watch Jeopardy after dinner or work on perfecting his golf score.

Yes…he took breaks and rested. But his burden was always for people and for his Father.

To be transparent, I’ve grown a little weary of people who call for ‘balance’ in life and in mission. As I outlined in this post, most leaders who make a significant difference don’t live balanced lives; they live passionate lives.

Of course, there is a ton of meaning outside work, but too many people forget there is a ton of meaning inside work and ministry.

Obviously, to make life work, you need clear boundaries. The best leaders leaders find clear boundaries, but as a rule, they have to restrain themselves from putting too much time into the mission.

If you want to see what happens when you put TOO much time into the mission, you can listen to Perry Noble and I talk about our periods of burnout in this interview. Plus there’s a ton of helpful resources on this page to help anyone who’s burning out.

The goal isn’t burnout—it’s passion. And passion can be hard to turn off. That’s actually a good thing!

2. You invest on your own dime and your own time

I think what you do on your own dime and your own time speaks volumes about your heart.

If work is something you do only when someone else is paying or when you’re officially on the clock, it speaks volumes about what you really value. I’ve worked in churches that have had no budget and I’ve probably over-invested in the ministry at the expense of my family. That’s not what I’m talking about.

But truly passionate leaders don’t mind picking up the check personally, or taking part of a ‘day off’ to work on a project or help someone out once in while.

If you’re only working when you’re working or paying when someone else is picking up the tab, chances are your passion isn’t white hot.

3. Possibilities excite you more than problems weigh you down

Passionate leaders are always more excited about the possibilities than they are weighed down by problems.

In every organization there are problems, and sometimes there are BIG problems. But passionate leaders are determined to remove problems—even big ones—and get moving because the possibilities are so exciting.

Where other leaders see only obstacles, passionate leaders see opportunities.

If you see more problems than possibilities, it will be hard to motivate a team to follow you. So how do you get your eyes off the problems?

• Leaders who focus on the possibilities find the problems tend to take care of themselves.
• Leaders who focus on the problems find the possibilities eventually evaporate.

Choose your focus carefully.

4. You can’t stop investing in people

Don’t get me wrong, passionate leaders have hobbies and pursuits that have nothing to do with work. They cycle or fly fish or BBQ or run marathons or camp or do yoga.

But passionate leaders can’t help but see people through the lens of their life mission.

• They pray for their neighbours.
• They throw parties for unchurched friends.
• They hang out with people who are far from God because it’s part of who they are, not just a part of what they do.
• They become beacons in their community and people who want nothing to do with Jesus come to them for advice.

They can’t help but bring the love and hope of Jesus in some way into every aspect of their lives.

5. The mission is something you GET to do

We have a very negative view of work in our culture (especially Canadian culture). That can seep into our world view as church leaders.

Not every day is going to be a picnic in ministry. You will have headaches and frustrations. Some days you will drag yourself in. You will make yourself do what you’re called to do simply because you’re called to do it.

And even though I’ve said “Love what you do and you’ll never work another day in your life” before, I agree with Jon Acuff that the saying isn’t 100% true. (Read Jon’s awesome perspective here).

Some days are work. And that’s okay.

But overall, leaders who have a white hot passion for their mission realize work is something they get to do, not something they have to do.

The difference in your attitude will leak to your team and to your congregation. And Christians, we GET to do this! God could have brought hope and forgiveness to people any way he wanted to, but he chose you.

Ministry is a privilege, not a burden.

Do what you love…and you’ll love what you do.

What do you think?

What are some signs you’ve seen that a leader’s passion is white hot?

 Would you like to learn more about discovering passion and vision? Connect with an Auxano Navigator and start a conversation with our team.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Passion, leadership passion

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The Only Problem with Incremental Change is that it Brings Incremental Results

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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So you want to bring about change but you’re afraid of the pushback that you know the change will create?

Totally understand that.

So you’re tempted to do what many leaders have done. Instead of bringing about the deep or radical change you know needs to happen, you decide to introduce change incrementally.

• Rather than remove the furniture you know needs to go, you move it an inch a week, hoping nobody will notice.
• Rather than fire the poor performer, you transfer him to a new position and hope one day he’ll leave.
• Rather than kill the programs that need to go, you add a few new ones instead and skirt the real issue.
• Rather than make all the changes you know need to be made, you create a 10 year time line, thinking that people will better accept the change the longer you delay.

Sound familiar? What’s wrong with this picture?

More than a few things actually.

The problem with incremental change…

…is that it brings incremental results.

If you want incremental results, then embrace incremental change.

The reality is that most leaders don’t want incremental results. You dream of significant results.  Of radically different results.

Yet for some reason too many leaders fall for the leadership lie that incremental change will usher in radically different results.

It won’t.

Radical change brings the potential for radical results.

Incremental change never does.

Why Do Leaders Fall For This?

Why do you as a leader talk yourself into believing that incremental change will produce the results you’re looking for?

There are at least three reasons:

1. You fear people’s reaction to significant change

You’ve seen other leaders get crucified for ushering in change. And you don’t want that to be you.

Fear is one of the main reasons change isn’t happening fast enough in the church or in many organizations today.

Personally, I think it would be a terrible thing to stand before God one day and explain that the main reason you didn’t do what you were called to do is because you were afraid.

Do you really want fear to be your final epitaph as a leader? Or would you rather go down trying?

Personally, I’d rather die trying.

2. Past opposition to change

You tried change once, and it failed.

Well, awesome. You also had a bad meal once, but you didn’t stop eating.

Why is it leaders shy away from change once they’ve had any opposition to it?

Maybe the change itself isn’t the problem. Maybe your strategy is the problem.

This is why I outlined 5 specific strategies to lead change in the face of opposition in my book Leading Change Without Losing It.  And why I’m so passionate about helping leaders navigate change.

Just because you failed at leading change once doesn’t mean you’ll fail forever.

Get a new strategy. What’s at stake is far too important not to.

3. Belief that progress should come without pain

Now we get closer to the heart of the matter. Many leaders secretly wish progress came without pain.

Progress almost never comes without pain.

Significant things are rarely accomplished without significant struggle. Our heroes are always people who suffered to bring about a better end. Part of us wants to live like that, and part of us doesn’t.

The leadership question is whether you’re willing to endure pain for the sake of a better future.

Real leaders say yes to that. They honestly do.

So…if you want significantly different results, push past the fear and stop thinking incrementally.

Incremental change brings about incremental results. Now you know what you’re dealing with.

What are you learning about change?

Are you ready for change that brings significant results? Learn more about getting things done with Auxano’s Execution services.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Change, Change leadership, Fear of Change, Incremental Change, Leading Change

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5 Actions Visionary Leaders Need to Take to Engage High Capacity Leaders

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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I was on a call a few months ago with a friend I track with regularly.

Darryn leads a growing church that has some pretty high capacity leaders around the table.

On the call he said “I need to have a vision big enough to make high capacity leaders afraid.”

That stopped me dead in my tracks.

I loved it.

Think about it. Is there a higher or more urgent calling than accomplishing the mission of the church?

And yet so many churches limp along satisfied with incremental progress and minimal commitment. Starbucks sometimes seems to have a more urgent mission than many churches do. That just shouldn’t be true.

Here’s what I think is true:

High capacity visions attract high capacity people.

High commitment environments attract highly committed people.

The lower your bar is, the lower your chance is to accomplish anything significant.

Big leaders are not stirred by small dreams.

Here are five things you can do that can help engage high capacity leaders:

1. Become passionate about an inexhaustible vision. One of the things I love about leading a church is that the mission is never ‘done’. Sure, it’s important to celebrate milestones along the way. But as long as there are unchurched people (we have about 200,000 within a 30 minute radius of our church) and as long as people need to grow in their faith (that’s never ‘done’ either), then we have work to do. High capacity leaders love visions that are much bigger than themselves. Reaching 200,000 people will keep almost any leader energized.

2. Ask big. If you are recruiting small group leaders, asking a leader to serve every week pulls in a more committed leader than asking someone to serve 1 in 5 weekends. Asking someone to join an inner circle and engage intellectually, spiritually and even financially calls out a different kind of leader than the call to simply handout programs and smile on a Sunday. High capacity people are drawn to high levels of challenge.

3. Be innovative. As the church moves into the future, I think experimentation and innovation are going to be hallmarks for churches that are effective in reaching the next generation. Being willing to do things in different ways will attract the best minds, hearts and intellects to the mission. If you launch ventures like, say, online campuses or multisite, you will engage people who would never come to the table under more traditional forms of ministry.

4. Continually point toward why you’re doing what you’re doing.High capacity leaders want to accomplish something bigger than themselves. There is no mission bigger than the mission of the church. Remind them regularly of giving their lives to a higher cause.

5. Value input. Leaders love to be heard. You do. I do. High capacity leaders don’t always need to be right, and they don’t even need to always get their way. But knowing that their input is valued is huge. Listen as you lead.

If you’re having trouble engaging high capacity leaders, your problem might not be that you’re asking too much. It might be that you’re asking too little.

What are you learning about attracting high capacity leaders?

Do you have a vision big enough to scare people?

> Read more from Carey.

Want to know more about the kind of vision described above? Start a conversation with our team. We’re glad to offer our input. Your vision is at stake, so let’s talk.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, High Capacity Leaders, Vision

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12 2nd Tier Practices that Produce First Rate Leaders

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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Ever wonder what separates great leaders from poor leaders?

Ever wonder whether you’re developing the practices and qualities of great leadership?

I’ve met more than a few ineffective leaders who have great intentions, but just haven’t developed the skills and attitudes that separate great leaders from poor leaders.

So what separates great leaders from not-so-great leaders? There are many things, but these 12 overlooked practices stand out to me as often-missed qualities and characteristics of the best leaders I know.

The good news is none of them are genetic. They mostly consist of attitudes and disciplines.

Change your attitude, gain some discipline, and you can become a far better leader too.

For the sake of helping all of us lead better, here are 12 often overlooked practices great leaders develop.

Great leaders:

1. Make complex matters seem simple

This is much more difficult than you think. As Woody Guthrie is quoted as saying, “Any fool can make something complicated. It takes a genius to make it simple.”

Great leaders stick with a problem or idea long enough and engage it deeply enough to clear away the fog and reduce the concept to its simplest forms so anyone can understand it.

This doesn’t mean they dumb it down. Rather, it means they make the concept accessible. And because it becomes accessible, more people are helped, and more people follow.

For a sermon: If you can’t say it in a sentence, you shouldn’t say it. I realize that’s difficult, but here’s the process I’ve been using for years to reduce complex ideas into single sentence summaries.

And when it comes to something larger than a 30-60 minute talk (like a project or initiative), work on it long enough to develop a 30 second elevator pitch (here are some quick hints at how to develop one). Again, if you can’t say it in 30 seconds, you probably don’t understand the problem clearly enough to proceed.

And even if you don’t, no one else will understand it clearly enough to follow.

2. Fight for clarity

In leadership, confusion reigns until someone makes things clear. Clarity is what great leaders bring to the table.

I find one of the best ways to become clear on issues is to ask questions, pull away to think and pray about it, sometimes for days or weeks and then take the idea back to the team for more discussion. Usually, clarity emerges out of the process.

But clarity doesn’t happen automatically. You have to fight for it.

3. Refuse to make excuses

Ever notice that the best leaders rarely make excuses?

In fact, the leaders who make the most progress make the fewest excuses. And the leaders who make the most excuses make the least progress.

This is one of my pet leadership themes: You can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can’t make both.

4. Think abundance

A scarcity mindset will kill your organization or church over the long haul.

Yes there are seasons for restraint. Yes, every organization needs a bean counter.

But if you think small you will stay small. If you think it’s not possible, it won’t be.

5. Regularly sift through key priorities

It would be amazing if you could set your priorities once at say, age 22, and just cruise through life without readjusting them.

It just doesn’t work that way.

Great leaders are continually assessing and reassessing how they spend their time, energy and resources.

I realize that every 3-6 months now, I have to rethink who I’m meeting with, how much time I’ll make available for certain activities, and rethinking our organization goals and progress.

6. Think won’t, not can’t

How you speak to yourself matters.

Rather than saying “I can’t” (even internally), great leaders instead say “I won’t”.

That small change moves them from realizing they could do something, but have chosen not to. While you may not always say that out loud in front of people (it’s rude), telling yourself you won’t reminds you that you had a choice and exercised it.

While that might seem like a small difference, it’s the difference between people who let life happen to them and people who make life happen.

7. Master self-discipline

Self-discipline is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Self-discipline is simply taking responsibility for your actions, health, attitudes, schedule, words, mistakes and decisions.

To not do so makes you…irresponsible.

8. Think we, not me

Truly great leaders die to themselves.

As Jim Collins has so surprisingly and famously demonstrated, the greatest leaders in the corporate world are…humble. They are determined, but they’re not selfish. Jesus would agree.

They believe in a cause greater than themselves and serve the organization or cause they’re a part of. They don’t expect it to serve them.

If you want to be great, die to yourself.

9. Decide to work for their employees

One day you’ll be such a great leader everyone will serve you, right?

Wrong.

The greatest bosses realize their employees don’t work for them, they work for their employees.

If you show up with a ‘how can I serve you?’ attitude, you be a far more effective leader.

10. Get started early

This one’s simple. Just set your alarm earlier.

For whatever reason, early risers do better in life. They’re happier, healthier and more productive.

Get a jump on your day, and you get a jump on leadership and life.

11. Arrive on time

Great leaders are rarely late. This is another simple leadership discipline that can get you far.

Show up on time. Show up prepared, and you will be ahead of most people.

12. Practice self-care

The best leaders take time off. They don’t work 24/7. They realize they have limits and they respect them.

As I outlined here, almost every leader will either practice self-care, or will revert to self-medication.

Don’t believe it? Ever notice you eat worse when you’re under stress? That you swap out exercise when your schedule fills up in exchange for more caffeine? If you answered yes, you’re self-medicating, and it takes down a huge slice of business leaders and church leaders.

What Do You Think?

There are many more characteristics, but these are 12 I think deserve more daylight than they usually get.

What would you add to the list?

> Read more from Carey.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Leadership, leadership qualities

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7 Types of People You Need to Lose the Most

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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In leadership, you always face your share of critics.

Everyone has an opinion, and if you’re like me, you can get focused on keeping people happy, which is always a critical leadership mistake. Your church or your organization isn’t for everyone (here’s why).

Usually, the discussion at the leadership table will end up with someone saying:

Look, we can’t afford to lose people. 

Sometimes that’s true.

Often, it’s simply not.

In fact, often the opposite is true.

The people you are most afraid of losing are the people you most need to lose.

Truthfully, you can’t afford to keep them.

Who You Can’t Afford to Keep

So who can you not afford to keep if you want your mission to move forward?

1. You can’t afford to keep perpetual critics.

2. You can’t afford to keep people who are opposed to everything.

3. You can’t afford to keep people who drain the energy and health out of a church or organization.

4. You can’t afford to keep people who contribute nothing and criticize everything.

5. You can’t afford to keep people who have no vision of what the future should be, only a vision for what the future shouldn’t be.

6. You can’t afford to keep people who put their own preferences ahead of your organization’s principles.

7. You can’t afford to keep people who always resist change.

Your mission is just too important.

So next time you face critics who are threatening to walk out the door, don’t ask yourself if you can afford to lose them.

Ask if you can afford to keep them.

It might completely change your approach…and your decisions.

> Read more from Carey.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Critics

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6 Reasons Cynicism Develops in Leaders

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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Find yourself becoming a little more cynical every year as a leader?

Few of us decide we’re going to be cynical…we just kind of end up there.

How does that happen?

How does a heart grow hard? How do you end up trusting no one? How does hope die?

Cynicism grows in the hearts of far too many leaders. Not only does it impact how you lead at work or in ministry, eventually your growing cynicism will tear at the fabric of your marriage and even at your relationship with your kids. Nobody likes a cynic.

If you find yourself gradually growing more cynical, you’re not alone. I think leadership breeds cynicism for several reasons. The good news is you can beat it if you understand how it forms.

6 Reasons Leaders Grow Cynical

So why do leaders grow cynical? Here are 6 reasons I’ve seen in myself and in others:

1. You know too much

The more you lead, the more you know. And the more you know, the easier it is to grow cynical.

This shouldn’t surprise us at all. Solomon said it 3000 years ago. The wisest man in his day had to battle cynicism at a very deep level (ever read Ecclesiastes?). In Ecclesiastes 1:18 Solomon make the link between knowledge and sorrow crystal clear:

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

Boom. There it is.

Think of all you’ve seen as a leader. The heartbreak, the betrayals, the politics, the people you believed in who kept letting you down. You know too much. You’ve seen too much.

And not knowing how to handle what you’ve seen and what you know creates an incubator for cynicism.

2. You haven’t grieved your losses

Leadership is a series of wins and losses. If you’re like me, you hardly notice the wins, but you feel every loss.

Years ago, a mentor pointed out to me that most pastors never grieve their losses. Every time someone leaves your church, it’s a loss. Every time you do a funeral, it’s a loss. Every time you can’t do what you hoped you could do as a leader, it’s a loss.

Most of us just stuff the losses; pretending they don’t matter.

When I first realized I’d stuffed a lot of losses over my life, I cried. A lot. I mean like almost for a month kind of crying. That seemed to clear the backlog. Now, when I sense there’s a loss (even a small one), I grieve it before God.

There’s a reason people in Biblical times would declare 40 days of mourning. I used to read those passages and think “What’s wrong with those people? Why can’t they just go back to work?”

Actually, there’s something healthy about grieving your losses.

What do you need to grieve that you haven’t grieved?

3. You haven’t dealt with your issues

In addition to the losses you experience in life and leadership, we all bring baggage with us from the past.

I ran from dealing with my ‘stuff’ for years. After all, I was a good leader. I didn’t have any baggage. I sent people to counselling. I didn’t go to counselling.

How wrong that attitude was. Apparently, I did have baggage. And it was impacting not only my leadership, but my marriage and parenting. I’m so thankful I found some trained Christian counsellors to help me work through my issues.

If any of this is resonating with you, I want to encourage you to jump over to listen to Perry Noble and I tell our stories of burnout and depression in this post (and interview).

4. You’ve projected past failures onto new situations

When you don’t deal with your issues or grieve your losses, you end up projecting past failures onto new situations.

Here’s how cynicism operates.

• Cynicism looks at a new team member and says “I’ll bet it’s just a matter of time until he screws up”.
• Cynicism looks at a new class of 9th graders and says “They’re just like the kids who drove me nuts last year.”
• Cynicism sees the newlyweds and says “I wonder how long until they hit the rocks?”
• Cynicism sees the new church and decides “It will only be a matter of time until they implode too.”

If you want to fight cynicism, stop projecting past failures onto new situations.

5. You’ve decided to stop trusting

As soon as cynicism gets a toehold in your life, you stop trusting. Because the next person is just like the last person, you decide those kind of people can’t be trusted. Or worse, people can’t be trusted.

Really?

Is that how you want to live? What kind of leader does that make you? What kind of person does that make you?

Or, without inducing a guilt trip, what kind of Christ-follower does that make you (isn’t the heart of our faith forgiveness and hope)?

If you want to kick cynicism in the teeth, trust again. Believe again. Hope again.

6. You’ve lost your curiosity

I think an incredibly effective long term antidote to cynicism is curiosity.

The curious are never cynical. The curious are always interested, always open to new possibilities, always thinking, always hopeful. I wrote a post about the link between cynicism and how to become more curious here.

Because cynicism tends to creep up with age, you’ll notice there are (sadly) a lot of cynical old people. My favourite elderly people are never the cynical, but the curious. The ones who at 80 are still learning, still open, still hopeful, still passionate about the next generation, still optimistic.

When was the last time you were honestly curious about something? Pursue curiosity, and cynicism will die of a thousand pinpricks.

What Kills Cynicism in You?

If you’ve felt cynicism growing inside you, what’s making it grow? What’s helping you beat it?

> Read more from Carey.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Cynicism, Cynicism in Leaders, cynical

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11 Secrets Church Leaders Are Struggling With

by: Carey Nieuwhof

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Leadership is a journey…a journey that’s probably different than you thought it would be before you stepped into leadership.

When I was young, I always thought leaders had it all figured out. That the uncertainty would one day disappear once I had more life and leadership under my belt.

But as you eventually learn, it doesn’t really work that way.

In fact, I think most leaders struggle more than they let on. I know personally, at one point or another, I’ve struggled in each of the areas listed below. But, at the time, because I didn’t want to tell anyone how I really felt, I kept mostly quiet.

Looking back, I realize for too long I kept far too much of it to myself.

You know what keeping it to yourself does, right? It leaves you isolated. And the silence gives fear power—power it should never have.

11 Secrets Most Church Leaders Won’t Tell You

Just to let you know you’re not alone, and to break the power of darkness by cracking some daylight, here are 11 secrets most leaders won’t tell you:

1. I’m less secure than I appear

The together exterior doesn’t always match the fragile interior.

Security is a journey for sure…a tough one. Most people don’t like insecure leaders. But insecurity is a trap…the more insecure you are, the more you resist telling anyone you’re insecure. And the more they dislike you.

If it helps, I outline 5 signs you’re an insecure leader in this post, and 5 ways to become a more secure leader here.

I think the best way to start dealing with your insecurity is to admit it, and deal with it. Counsellors’ offices and best friends are great places to start with that by the way. So is prayer.

2. Getting close to God isn’t easy

There’s a particular pressure on pastors and church leaders to have a ‘great’ relationship with God.

But the truth is, our relationship is just like anyone else’s relationship with God. It has ups and downs. Even as a church leader, you go through dry seasons. Okay, maybeespecially as a church leader, you go through dry seasons spiritually.

I think church leaders struggle with God in different ways than most people. I outline those ways here.

3. I’m lonelier than I let on

Leadership is complex and involves going through seasons of unpopularity. It also involves making tough calls that can make you the goat, or at least feel like a goat.

Add to that the fact that most of us who are driven type leaders don’t do relationships easily, and sometimes it’s lonelier than it needs to be.

4. It’s hard at home sometimes

Let’s just say it. Our Instagrams lie. It’s not always easy at home.

It’s gotten better over the years, but there have been seasons in my leadership where my family got too much of my unfiltered stress. Not fair. Not fair at all. But true.

Home is hard. Work is hard. Put the two together in an ill-thought through combination and it can be lethal. I really believe that, in the long run, everything rides on how you lead at home.

5. The criticism hurts

We pretend the criticism doesn’t hurt, but it does, whether we admit it or not.

We put our poker faces on, but deep down it stings.

Tell God. Tell somebody. And don’t let your family bear the brunt of it every time.

There are ways to make criticism sting less, but acknowledging it hurts is a great first step.

6. I’m afraid to ask for what I really want

I’ve usually been pretty forward in my leadership and I’m grateful for an incredibly honest dialogue I have with my staff and elder team where I serve.

But there are seasons where I’ve been afraid to ask for what I really want. And even as I type those words I think “That sounds so selfish.”

But sometimes you just need a vacation. Or, especially when your family is young and you’re just starting out, you need a raise. Or you need more staff. Or you need someone to have your back. Or you need a friend. You’re just afraid to ask.

You know what I’ve found? Almost every time I’ve asked, someone said “Why didn’t you ask sooner? We’d love to help.”

See what secrets and silence do?

7. I’ve thought about leaving even though I’m staying

You’ve thought about leaving, even though you’re staying…true? Of course it’s true, unless you just started last Tuesday, and even then…

Everyone goes through seasons of doubt and questions about the future.

But when you sit in silence with this one for too long, you end up waffling. Not staying, but not leaving either. You end up putting in half an effort, and you’re half the leader you could be.

Brad Lomenick offers some great insight in Episode 27 of my podcast about how to know when it’s time to go, and I outlined 5 signs it’s time to move on in this post.

8. My secret job is nothing like this job

One of the reasons leadership is hard is because you deal with so many intangibles. It’s brain work. People management. Conflict management. Getting people to do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do.

On bad days, many leaders I know dream of doing something entirely different. For a season, my escape job was to stack boxes in a warehouse. Because at least if you moved a box, it stayed moved.

9. I feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing

Eventually you reach a level of leadership, either because you’ve been at it long enough or because whatever you’re leading got big enough, that you realize there are no clear answers. There just aren’t.

You surrounded yourself with the smartest people you could and you realize that even the smart people don’t know what to do. That’s where real leadership begins—when you feel like you don’t really know what you’re doing, but you keep doing anyway.

That’s how history gets changed. You were just the last person standing, even though inside it felt like sheer confusion.

10. People seem to believe in me more than I believe in myself some days

When you’ve been through #9 enough times, you will be ready to give up believing in yourself. But you look around and realize other people keep believing in you. That’s exactly what you need. You’re likely leading very well if enough of the good people keep believing in you.

So when you stop believing in you, keep believing in the people who believe in you.

11. I thought we would have made more progress by now

You don’t want to say it out loud, but you really do think you would have made more progress by now.

You look at all the overnight successes and think “How come that wasn’t me?” This only works, of course, until you look more closely at the overnight successes only to realize almost all of them were 5-15 years in the making.

The fact that your vision is bigger than your reality is paradoxically a sign that you’re a good leader.

So keep being mildly disappointed, because it will always spur you on to more.

And one day when it’s over you’ll look back and be amazed at how much you actually accomplished.

> Read more from Carey.

Tags: Carey Nieuwhof, Leadership Secrets, Leadership Struggles, church leaders

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