5 Words Toward a Stronger Esprit de Corps

by: Dan Reiland

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The hallways often reveal more than the boardroom.

What you hear in the hallways is often a better indicator of the spirit of your team than what is said in the boardroom. I’m not suggesting that your team isn’t honest in your meetings. But they are more relaxed in the hallways, in the break room, or anywhere a cup of coffee is shared where you work.

How is your team doing? Are they happy? Are they energetic? Are they productive? Do they face adversity well? Do they get along? Your answers give insight to the level of Esprit de Corps.

Esprit de corps is a cool word. Not just because it’s French and I can’t spell it without looking it up. But because it says so much! It embraces the idea of a sense of unity and of common interests. It carries the notion of common responsibilities of a group committed to a goal together. It’s about a team of people connected not just to a goal but real relationship with each other.

Esprit de corps is closely connected to the idea of morale. A team’s ability to maintain high morale reveals commitment to a deep belief and mission, even in the face of difficulty or hardship.

> Generosity

We often think of money when it comes to generosity, and that is part of it. But a spirit of generosity reaches much farther than finances alone. It’s a way of living. It’s about time, faith, love, and kindness and more. Generous people think differently than those who are takers by nature. Generous people think larger, believe bigger and possess a positive attitude. Generous people love to give, but they also see it strategically. Generosity is not all about goose bumps and emotion, but making wise investments into people’s lives with intentionality.

When you lead your team with generosity you lead with a spirit of giving more than taking. Some leaders are takers, they want more from you than they pour into you. That diminishes morale. I remember one leader saying to me, “But I pay them! I expect them to show up and get their work done!” He did not have a spirit of generosity! It’s reasonable for him to expect his staff to show up and work, but he had a demanding spirit rather than a developing spirit.

> Trust

I have been part of the team at 12Stone® Church for twelve years. I have served as Executive Pastor under Senior Pastor Kevin Myers. From day one Kevin has trusted me fully. That is critical, without it I can’t lead. Trust is different than respect. Respect must be earned, but trust needs to be extended as a gift from the beginning and removed only if it is broken.

Trust is essential to a positive sense of esprit de corps. If you don’t trust your team, it’s as if you are holding back the oxygen they need to lead. They just can’t breath! It’s as if you put them on a short leash and tied them up to their desk, they can move, but not much! If you find it difficult to trust people, I encourage you to reflect on why. Have you trained and developed your team? Have you been hurt by someone? Do you have control issues? Are you a perfectionist? What would it take for you to trust? Without trust, empowerment cannot exist, let alone thrive.

> Empowerment

Trust is where empowerment begins. The first component of empowerment is to trust with responsibility. Connecting this principle with a spirit of generosity allows us to see that empowering isn’t dumping work on someone, it is trusting them with the responsibility of accomplishing something that is important.

No one wants to be micro-managed. “Small” leaders attempt to keep power and control, they “meddle” and some even have a heavy hand on everything. Empowering leaders set people free. It’s not about letting people do whatever they want. Empowerment is the right mix of freedom and guidance. It involves communication, goals, and training. These things allow us to free people up so they can grow, excel and achieve more!

> Alignment

Your team loves the trust and freedom that comes with empowerment, but they also love, need and want boundaries. People hate chaos, and they know that if everyone “does their own thing,” nothing of significant impact will be accomplished. High morale is experienced teams that work together and head in the same direction. A sense of productive esprit de corps comes to a team that enjoys being with each other and wins together. Independence breaks down alignment. In contrast, organization and agreement of goals builds alignment. I love track and field in the Olympics, and I really enjoy the relay races. Can you imagine if each of the four runners on the team ran whenever they wanted, in whatever direction they wanted and never handed the baton off to the right person? Alignment is essential!

> Caring

The impact of simply caring is staggering. At times I think it’s becoming a lost art. Please don’t misunderstand. I believe that church leaders care. They really do, but sometimes the demands of a busy schedule can result in an inability to keep up with everything. You have a finite amount of energy, in fact, you run out of energy to demonstrate that you care. You are so busy making things happen, (and getting things done), that your relational bandwidth runs thin.

The good news is that the remedy is often simple, and as long as it’s from the heart you are good to go! It might be a hand written note of encouragement, a public expression of appreciation for a job well done, a quick phone call, or a cup of coffee with someone just to see how they are doing. It could be as simple as a thank you card with a Starbucks gift card inside. It’s usually just not that complicated. We just need to do it!

I pray these thoughts encourage, guide and inspire you and your team to a greater sense of esprit de corps!

The Pastor’s Coach is written by Dr. Dan Reiland and is available via email on a free subscription basis. You can subscribe by clicking here.

Tags: Dan Reiland, Staff Culture, Volunteer Culture

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6 Things Learned from 2 Great Communicators

by: Dan Reiland

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All leaders communicate. Not all leaders communicate well.

Communication is a broader topic than just your Sunday morning or weekend messages. Much of a leader’s most important communication takes place in one to one conversations or in small group meetings. But in this article I’ll focus on public communication, leaning mostly into the context of the Sunday message. (But with just a little translation, the principles carry over to all communication.)

Moses was slow of speech and lacked confidence. The apostle Paul was eloquent and powerful. Most of us are somewhere between those two. My purpose in writing is to offer what I’ve learned from two of the best communicators I know, Kevin Myers and John Maxwell. I’ve had the privilege to work closely with both of these men for a long time, and I’m fortunate to have learned how to be a better communicator.

Here’s some of what I’ve learned.

• Connection is essential. 

Communication begins on the inside with a healthy self-awareness and a comfort level with who you are as a person. This enables you to be yourself as you communicate. This allows connection to take place and is the beginning of good communication. When you are yourself, people can connect with you. When they connect with you they can trust you and when they trust you they are willing to follow your teaching and leadership.

The opposite of connection is self-protection and it is rooted in fear and results in hiding. Your teaching becomes more powerful when you don’t attempt to hide. Remember though, you don’t tell your story so you feel better. You tell your story to set others free. Knowing that helps you determine what to say!

• Content won’t carry you. 

John and Kevin are naturally gifted communicators. It would be easy for both of them to lean into their talent and not work on their craft. But instead, both of them continually work to master their craft! Both are better today than ever! Content is very important but it won’t carry you or the moment. Delivery is king. You can have a brilliant biblical message, but if your delivery is dry and dull, you’ve wasted the content, and you’ll lose the people. They may love you and trust you but they will still drift when you talk if you don’t teach with increasing skill.

Study the best teachers and preachers you know. Don’t copy them but learn from them. And let me offer you this really good tip for now. If you aren’t a great communicator, talk shorter till you are better! Seriously! Don’t teach for 40 plus minutes unless you are really good. Stick with 25 minutes.

• It’s with the audience not at the audience. 

I’ve listened to many pastors and teachers over the years. There are a surprising number that seem to talk “at” the audience, not to them or seemingly “with” them as in a conversation. I’m not referring to the angry thundering preachers. Candidly, there aren’t that many left. That style simply doesn’t work. I’m referring more so to the pastors who are technical in their skills and practice. They have some good thoughts, they write them down, and then dispense them on Sunday. It almost wouldn’t matter if the people were in the room or not, the words are delivered the same.

The best communication feels more like something with the people. I know you are talking and they are listening, but it still needs to feel like a conversation. You can draw them in by asking a question where they can raise their hand for a yes or no. You can use humor. There are a number of ways involve your listeners!

• Confidence comes from preparation. 

We all know what it’s like to show up unprepared, or at least not prepared enough. It’s not good. You may be talented enough to get away with it for a while, but as a steady diet this bad habit of short changing your preparation will catch up with you. In time your communication skills will lessen and your confidence will decline.

In contrast, consistent and disciplined preparation not only breeds confidence, it cultivates enthusiasm within you. One of the ways I know I’m ready to teach is that I absolutely can’t wait to deliver the message!! My messages never start that way. The process starts with, “Dear Lord please help me!” (Really.) But every time, at some point in my preparation, something clicks and I get so excited I can hardly stand it. It’s then I know I’m ready.

• Read the room.

Pay attention to your surroundings. The environment matters. Even if you can’t change the elements, being aware can help you. Start with the physical elements. What is the temperature of the room? Is it comfortable? How is the lighting? Can they see? Dark isn’t always cool. Light brings energy to the room! Low lighting subdues the room. This may be good for worship, but it’s not good for communication. How about the seating? Too many chairs? What about the podium? Is it a huge fort like thing that hides the communicator, or is it something small and just enough to hold your notes? If you find yourself with one of those “hotel issue” kinds of giant podiums, grab a music stand. That works great.

There are two more elements to “read.” The people and the Holy Spirit. What do you sense from the people? What do they need? And most importantly, what is the Holy Spirit telling you?

• Know where you are going, and get there. 

My wife has often said to me in the past, “Hun, you need to learn how to land the plane! Pick a runway and land the plane!” Good advice. Far too many communicators appear as if they are circling the airport trying to pick a runway and just don’t know where to put the plane down! Not good.

Kevin works with two simple questions. What do you want the people to know? And what do you want the people to do? Be clear about those two things and you’ll know where and when to land the plane.

Remember that you are not only teaching, you are also leading. The people need you to inspire them. I don’t mean hype, but helping them believe what you are saying is actually possible with the help of God! If you believe God can and will help them, they will embrace that hope as you teach!

There is much more to great communication, but this is a good start. Add this to what you already know. Practice and you’ll see the difference.

This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland’s free monthly e-newsletter, “The Pastor’s Coach,” available at www.INJOY.com.

Tags: Attention, Awareness, Dan Reiland, John Maxwell, Kevin Myers

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Helpful Tools for Honest Self-Assessment

by: Dan Reiland

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You can’t see what you can’t see. I drive a Toyota Avalon and it’s a nice car. It has lots of “bells and whistles,” plenty of power, and the new body design is sharp. But no matter how nice any car might be, it has a blind spot. The blind spot is that small area down the driver’s side looking back, that you just can’t see anything in it. That blind spot can be ever so costly if you change lanes and don’t see the car next to you!

We all have blind spots about ourselves. That’s one of the things that makes you the most difficult person for you to assess. The saying is true. You just can’t see what you can’t see. It sounds simple, but the complexity comes from the fact that you are truly blind to that “elusive thing,” and unless you have some help, that blind spot can cause you great difficulty as a leader.

When you are driving, the way you mitigate your blind spot is a quick turn of your head to the left and back, plus rightly using your mirrors. That can literally save your life. So how do you find your blind spots as a leader? And what should you look for?

Start here to find your blind spots: 

• Self-awareness

When I was starting out as a pastor I noticed that many of the successful pastors of large churches, who were conference speakers, seemed to be choleric and sanguine in temperament. So I thought, that’s what I want to be! For a long time I tried to be someone other than who I am. “Success” eluded me. When I became more self-aware and discovered that I’m choleric and melancholy, and gave myself permission to be me, God’s favor on me as a leader seemed to become immediately evident. It was then that I began to blossom as a leader!

• Honest Friends

Friends are a powerful force and priceless gift in your life. In fact, your friends shape who you are so choose your friends wisely. The friends who love and care about you the most will tell you the truth, even if it’s tough to hear. When my friends shoot straight with me I’m very grateful. When they help me see my blind spots, the things about me that I can’t see, it helps me become a better person!

• Credible assessment tools 

Self-assessment tools are always fun to take. Everyone likes to “read the press” about themselves. The key is to find good tools. There are several good ones, but a couple of my favorites have been the Myers/Briggs and StrengthsFinder. The John Maxwell Company has produced a new assessment tool. I checked it out and it’s great! It’s based on John’s book, The Five Levels of Leadership. This assessment allows you to invite your boss, your peers, and your direct reports to anonymously assess your leadership. All too often leaders simply evaluate themselves and move on.

However, according to The Five Levels of Leadership “one of us is not as smart as all of us,” and therefore, inviting others to assist you in evaluating your leadership is one of the smartest moves you can make. Check out the assessment HERE.

What to look for:

How can you see what you can’t see? I mentioned three things in general. Again, they are a growing sense of self-awareness, friends who will tell you the truth and good assessment tools. It also helps if you can have an idea of the things (you can’t see) that can hurt you and the things that can help you, so you can begin to look for them.

Things that can hurt you:

1. Habits

I recently coached a young leader about the importance of looking people in the eyes when talking to them. He honestly had no idea that he often looked at the floor and up toward the ceiling. I used to constantly fidget with my glasses while teaching until someone let me know. These are relatively innocent examples, but they matter, and catching the simple things will help you practice watching for more significant habits that can hurt your leadership.

2. Attitudes

There is so much negative in current culture, from crime to politics, and a lot of people consider those two subjects as one topic. Our country has serious problems and we need leaders who can solve the problems, but complaining and being negative won’t change anything. It won’t change anything in your church either. Even if what you are saying is true. Move toward action that brings solutions! Keep your attitude positive.

3. Perceptions

The Bible warns us about false teachers, being swayed by false doctrines and seeing now “but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.” As leaders we all struggle to see things clearly. People have passionate opinions and often package them in spiritual wrappers. You and I may be tempted to do the same. It’s important for all of us to discern clearly and seek wisdom so we have the truest and clearest perception of reality possible.

4. Relationships

Relationships can obviously be helpful as well as hurtful. I trust that like me, most of your relationships are positive and healthy. It’s the one you didn’t see coming that can take you out. I’ve heard three stories in the last ninety days about church boards having secret meetings to get rid of the pastor. Not only did the pastors have no idea, but each pastor thought everything was great! I’m not suggesting that you become a paranoid leader, but that you pay attention to your friends and even closer attention to the leaders you aren’t sure about.

Things that can help you:

1. Skills

Your personality, education, and general family background play a big role in who you are as a leader. But at some point, your leadership skills take a front seat as the determiner of how effective your leadership can become. That is good news! By determining what you are good at and where you need to improve, you can radically strengthen your leadership. The key is to be very specific and intentional about what skill you want to develop. A generic approach won’t help you much. What one skill, right now, do you need to work on?

2. New friends

Friendships are complicated for leaders. The tension is that you must always be making new friends and simultaneously caring for the friends you have. Eventually, most leaders feel they have run out of time. Keeping up with all these relationships is a skill. Don’t give up; you can learn to give your full heart in less time. You can care deeply and don’t always need to spend two hours over coffee. You can make a genuine connection in much less time. It goes against the grain, but it is sometimes necessary. Giving up and not establishing new relationships will hurt your leadership. Establishing new relationships will help your leadership!

3. Opportunities

At times this has been a weakness of mine. I’m so focused in what I’m doing that I can miss great opportunities right in front of me, opportunities that are truly helpful to the church and to me personally. I need to regularly “lift my head up” and look around, sniff the wind, know which way it’s blowing and see what God is up to! How about you? Are you catching the great opportunities that are before you?

4. Faith

All good leaders have great faith. You may experience a season where your faith is shaken, that’s normal. But in general, it is important that your faith is strong. This is one of the greatest assets to a spiritual leader. If you believe God for big things, if you pray for big things and even trust God for miracles, you are much more likely to experience what God wants to do for you. God is not a puppet to be manipulated, but He is a good, kind and loving Father. Your church is His church! God cares what happens in your ministry! How’s your faith? What do you believe?

My intent in this article is to be helpful in the process of your self-assessment. The better you do this, the greater your potential for growth

This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland’s free monthly e-newsletter, “The Pastor’s Coach,” available at www.INJOY.com.

Tags: Dan Reiland, Healthy Staff, Staff Assessment

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Top Ten “Old School” Checklists for Church Leaders

by: Dan Reiland

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I still love to hold a book in my hands, mark it up and get it a little dog-eared. I like to hold a pen in my hand and write, that tactile experience helps my creative juices flow. And I’d rather talk to a person than book something online. That makes me a little “Old School” in some ways.

Sometimes the term Old School is used in a positive way, even endearing or desired. Like when something is considered vintage or classic. I own some really nice guitars, none are vintage but several are replicas of the old classics. That’s how strong the market is. Brand new guitars are made to look just like some of the cool guitars that came out in the 50’s and 60’s.

Sometimes the phrase Old School is used in a more derogatory way. As if to imply it is out of date, irrelevant or passé. For example, someone recently told me about a church that still ran a bus ministry commenting that it was “old school.” My reply was that if it’s working, I’m not so sure it’s old school, but maybe it is.

However you use the phrase, whether cool and endearing, or a little derogatory, I’m going to submit that there are a number of “Old School” leadership characteristics that are never out of date, irrelevant or lame. In fact, they are timeless and we’d all be wise to keep them fresh and alive in our lives.

Top Ten “Old School” Check-lists for leaders:

• Courteous

At no time is it appropriate for a leader to be rude. Misused power and authority is at least in poor taste and may at times be an indication of a leader’s character. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit and a courteous nature is deeply interwoven within kindness. Courteous doesn’t mean lacking in strength or unable to make tough decisions. It reflects more an attitude of consideration for the disposition of other human beings. That is never Old School.

• Industrious 

Most of the leaders I know are hardworking people. They are committed to the mission and take their responsibilities seriously. They treat the meaning of their paycheck with honor rather than entitlement. I will admit, however, that I have met a growing number of pastors and ministry leaders who don’t possess a strong worth ethic. They actually work far less hours and still complain that they are overworked. I think the answer is in calling, passion and being in the right seat. I don’t think Old School means working hard and others don’t. I really believe it’s about finding your sweet spot – the place God calls you to be.

• Determined

I love a leader who is determined. I don’t mean a naïve leader who can’t see or face reality, but one who looks reality square in the eye and says “I won’t give up.” I think it takes that spirit to be successful in the local church. Kevin Myers, founding pastor of 12Stone® Church planted the church in 1987. For the first seven years the church struggled. He never gave up. Yes, he came close, we all do, but he stayed true and determined, and the results of that determination speak for themselves.

• Generous

Don’t you just love being around generous people? I don’t mean just about money, like your friends who will pick up the tab in a restaurant. I mean people who have a generous nature at their core, from their time, to kind words and encouragement, to investing in you and sometimes even financially. Those leaders truly breathe life into the people they lead.

• Courageous 

Risks are part of every leader’s life. If you won’t risk you can’t lead. The art is in knowing how far to risk. How far do you push a conversation? How much debt to you acquire? Do you hire the candidate or not? There is a risk to reward ratio for every decision. When you are pushing forward, it takes courage to make the tough call. The answer is not in a textbook. It’s all about prayer, experience and wise counsel. The lack of courage results in comfort and coasting and both are death to a healthy church.

• Disciplined

I either jog or ride a stationary bike every day. I’m not fast or impressive. My typical jog is three miles and I do about five miles on the bike. It’s slow and not pretty. But, I do it every day. Don’t underestimate the power of every day. Whether it’s prayer, exercise, or saying “I love you” to your spouse, “daily” is a life changer. This same idea is true for your leadership practices. Discipline matters.

• Loving

The foundation of New Testament spiritual leadership is love. Jesus made this abundantly clear. I John 4:8 &16 says God is love. I Corinthians 13:13 says that the greatest of these (faith, hope and love) is love. The Epistles are loaded with admonitions to love. It is interesting that this is the most widely known, and least written about characteristic of our leadership. It’s simple to understand but not easy to live. Personally I think this is the core of Christian leadership and if it’s “Old School” then we’d all be wise to get a little vintage in our leadership.

• Judicious 

There is a verse in the New Testament that has made me uncomfortable as a leader. I can’t deny its presence so I seek to understand it. It’s part of the parable of the shrewd manager. Luke 16:8 “The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light.” We are called to be wise, prudent, thoughtful, and sometimes shrewd. Even when shrewd seems to have an edge to it. When it’s about the Kingdom, God calls us to be judicious.

• Humble

From Genesis chapter three to James chapter four, we know the lessons of pride. God is clear on the subject. Like cardiovascular disease is the number one killer in America today, pride is the number one killer of church leaders. Pride may not rob you of your physical life, but it can essentially rob you of God’s favor in your spiritual life. Humility is the exercise and good diet for the soul of a leader.

• Truthful 

From speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) to facing the truth of reality, leaders who are trustworthy are truthful. I find that most church leaders are honest people. Really, very few are liars. But many are prone to exaggerate. From stories in sermons to the attendance of the church, let’s all be careful out there to tell it the way it really is.

Perhaps you can think of some others, but for now, which one would you want to strengthen for the next thirty days? Maybe you could make one a month a leadership devotional bible study for yourself. I encourage you to jump in, take advantage of these thoughts, and even get a little Old School if needed.

This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland’s free monthly e-newsletter, “The Pastor’s Coach,” available at INJOY.com

Tags: Dan Reiland, Leadership Engine, Staff, Staff Development

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6 Pressures Leaders Put on Themselves – and How to Overcome Them

by: Dan Reiland

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Every leader faces pressure. How you handle that pressure matters. Do you attempt to avoid it and let it conquer you, or embrace it and use it to your advantage? In most situations, leadership pressure will increase as the church gets larger. So be careful what you pray for, you just might get it. I don’t say that with sarcasm, I say that with thoughtful sincerity to help you be prepared.

One of the most common pressures in any organization, and certainly the church, comes from finances. No matter how spiritual we make the mission (and it is fully a spiritual endeavor) we cannot escape the reality of paying the mortgage, the rising costs of staff, and never-ending demands to fund meaningful ministry. We add to that the pressure of being good stewards (wise and strategic with measurable results) of God’s money generously given by His people.

I’ve never, yes never, not even one time ever heard a church say they have too much money. I smile as I write this because I would love to hear a pastor stand on the platform and just once say: “Please, please dear people, stop giving so much money. The bank won’t take any more, we’ve given millions away, and we’ve filled all our huge safes full with cash and gold. We are now starting to bury money behind the church and to tell you the truth, the staff is getting tired of digging those big holes.” Ridiculous I know, but I’d pay good money to hear that for real!

In fact, more churches than not face a shortage of income to budget. Then we add to that the truth that God asks us to trust Him by giving even more away. The stories I could tell you of churches slashing their ministry budgets, being forced to lay-off staff and some even losing their buildings are staggering and many. But I don’t need to tell you because you know many of these stories yourself. You may be facing your own financial pressure as you read this article.

Finances are a type of situational pressure. Similar to a shortage of staff, or being out of space for more people in your worship auditorium, or your parking lot is just too small. But not all pressure is situational. In fact, as difficult as these circumstances can be, there are other kinds of pressures that determine how well you will handle the common realities of local church leadership.

Let me talk about six of those pressures and offer a few practical insights to help you deal with them.

• Internal Pressure – The pressure you put on yourself. 
It’s important to exercise this kind of personal internal pressure. It’s how you get things done. This is a good and healthy thing. However, all too often leaders put too much pressure on themselves. Such as, the pressure to perform at sustained and near superhuman levels with little rest, pressure to make people happy and pressure to achieve. This is a major caution and something to pay attention to. The million-dollar question is how much is too much? It’s a fine line, but there are clues that let you know. For example, do you take a day off? Can you relax and not feel guilty? Do you have trouble walking away from your smart phone after hours? If you aren’t sure, ask a couple close friends or colleagues.

• Transferred Pressure – The pressure to assume others problems. 
I find myself unwisely falling prey to this pressure. Someone in the church, for example, tells me about a financial problem they are facing. Immediately I care, that’s normal, but then something happens inside where I begin to feel responsible to fix it. That kind of pressure, transferred pressure, is not good or healthy. Imagine if you or I actually had to carry the responsibility to solve everyone’s problems! That’s not possible! Instead it’s wise to express your genuine care, offer counsel and pray. If in that process you sense that you can help, or the Holy Spirit prompts you to take action, then do it.

• Peer Pressure – The pressure others put on you.
You remember peer pressure was in full force by Middle and High School. It’s supposed to end there, but often doesn’t. It’s not uncommon for pastors and church leaders of all kinds to wrestle with guilt laden pressure to attend every event, pray more, fast more, drive a more modest car, diet, and the list goes on. The issue at hand may be something good, like praying more. But when legalism enters the picture what was good turns to an unhealthy pressure. Let me say this bluntly. There comes a time when you must stop caring what everyone else thinks. Listen to God and your close advisors. That’s enough.

• Wasted Pressure – The pressure that results from lack of discipline. 
I call this one “wasted” pressure because of all the pressures listed it’s the most unnecessary. It’s the most avoidable. The most common form comes from procrastination. You might wait until Saturday to start your sermon, or you didn’t mail in a bill that you had for two weeks and now it’s late with penalties, or you waited until April 14th to do your taxes. So now you endure major pressure that you didn’t need to. If you instead exercise a modest amount of discipline you can avoid these pressures nearly entirely. Easy to say, I know. But it’s true. I’m just trying to help relieve your pressure!

• Personal Pressure – The pressure all families deal with. 
Unlike wasted pressure, this is one you can’t avoid. All families face pressure. If you are married, you understand. Conflict is human. If you have kids you really get it. Doing family well is hard work, but the good news is that it can be done! Pressure relief valves make a big difference. Relieving family pressure is not accomplished by avoiding your family. One of the best ways is to have more fun together. Play more! Enjoy each other! Put effort into fun – everything from playing games to family vacation!

• Temptation Pressure – The pressure to sin. 
I received an email from a friend this week about her pastor who resigned due to an “indiscretion.” It is always heartbreaking to hear this kind of news, and the truth is that none of us are exempt. We are all tempted, but we don’t have to give in. The first step is to know your weakness. Know where you are most vulnerable, then you can make a “battle plan” to not give in. I encourage you to be honest with two or three close confidants and trusted friends. Talk on a regular basis about your temptation. Sin does well in darkness, but is conquered in the light.

My purpose in writing is to stir your thoughts about the origins, sources and remedies for the pressure you face. When it’s all said and done, there is nothing like the presence of God to help you navigate these pressures. But the more you understand about these pressures, the better you can take them to God.

This article is used by permission from Dr. Dan Reiland’s free monthly e-newsletter, “The Pastor’s Coach,” available at www.INJOY.com.

Tags: Dan Reiland, Leadership Engine, Staff Development

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